Rajni film

rajni film climax,last ball,10 runs to win.rajni wins.how? he hits the ball, ball breaks into 2, one goes for 4 one for 6!!

Adopt a terrorist - another brilliantly written letter :-)

A female Canadian libertarian wrote several letters to the government, complaining about the treatment of captive insurgents (terrorists) being held in Afghanistan National Correctional System facilities. Finally, irked by her constant criticism and do-gooder suggestions, the National Defence Headquarters decided that an answer should be proffered to her and sent her the following reply:

National Defence Headquarters

M. Gen. George R. Pearkes Bldg, 15 NT

101 Colonel By Drive

Ottawa , ON K1A 0K2 Canada

Dear Concerned Citizen,

Thank you for your recent letter expressing your profound concern of treatment of the Taliban and Al Qaeda terrorists captured by Canadian Forces who were subsequently transferred to the Afghanistan Government and are currently being held by Afghan officials in Afghanistan National Correctional System facilities.

Our administration takes these matters seriously and your opinions were heard loud and clear here in Ottawa. You will be pleased to learn, thanks to the concerns of citizens like yourself; we are creating a new department here at the Department of National Defense, to be called 'Liberals Accept Responsibility for Killers' program, or L.A.R.K. for short.

In accordance with the guidelines of this new program, we have decided to divert one terrorist and place him in your personal care. Your personal detainee has been selected and is scheduled for transportation under heavily armed guard to your residence in Toronto next Monday. Ali Mohammed Ahmed bin Mahmud (you can just call him Ahmed) is to be cared for pursuant to the standards you personally demanded in your letter of complaint. It will likely be necessary for you to hire some assistant caretakers. We will conduct weekly inspections to ensure that your standards of care for Ahmed are commensurate with those you so strongly recommend in your letter.

Although Ahmed is a sociopath and extremely violent, we hope that your sensitivity to what you described as his 'attitudinal problem' will help him overcome these character flaws. Perhaps you are correct in describing these problems as mere cultural differences. We understand that you plan to offer counselling and home schooling.

Your adopted terrorist is extremely proficient in hand-to-hand combat and can extinguish human life with such simple items as a pencil or nail clippers. We advise that you do not ask him to demonstrate these skills at your next yoga group. He is also expert at making a wide variety of explosive devices from common household products, so you may wish to keep those items locked up, unless (in your opinion) this might offend him.

Ahmed will not wish to interact with you or your daughters (except sexually) since he views females as a subhuman form of property. This is a particularly sensitive subject for him and he has been known to show violent tendencies around women who fail to comply with the new dress code that he will recommend as more appropriate attire. I'm sure you will come to enjoy the anonymity offered by the burkha over time. Just remember that it is all part of 'respecting his culture and religious beliefs' as described in your letter.

Thanks again for your concern. We truly appreciate it when folks like you keep us informed of the proper way to do our job and care for our fellow man. You take good care of Ahmed and remember, we'll be watching.

Good luck and God bless you.

Cordially,

Gordon O'Connor

Minister of National Defence

Rock & Roll Skeleton - speakers on, this is hilarious!

Priceless words - A Beautiful story

A husband wakes up at home with a huge hangover.

He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table. He sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotless, clean. So is the rest of the house.
He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table.
“Honey, breakfast is on the table, I left early to go grocery shopping. Love You!”

Totally shocked with the note, he goes to the kitchen and sure enough there is a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating. He asks, “Son, what happened last night?”
His son says, “Well, you came home around 3 AM, drunk and delirious. Broke some crockery, puked in the hall, and gave yourself a black eye when you stumbled into the door”. Confused, the man asks, “So, why is
everything in order and so clean, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?
I should expect a big quarrel with her!”
His son replies, “Oh, that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your clothes n shoes off, you said, “LADY LEAVE ME ALONE! I’M MARRIED!”

Moral
Self-induced hangover - $ 400.00
Broken crockery - $ 800.00
Breakfast - $ 10.00
Saying the Right Thing While Drunk - “PRICELESS “

Sassy application

The following application was sent in by a 75 year old man to Walmart. They hired him for his sheer audacity and sense of humour.

NAME:

Kenneth Way (Grumpy Old Bastard)

SEX:

Not lately, but I am looking for the right woman (or at least one who will cooperate)

DESIRED POSITION:

Company President or Vice President. But seriously, what ever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place

DESIRED SALARY:

$185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION:
Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD:
Target for middle management hostility.

PREVIOUS SALARY:
A lot less than I'm worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT:
My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING:
It sucked.

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK:
Any.

PREFERRED HOURS:

1:30-3:30 p.m. Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?:

Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment .

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?:

If I had one, would I be here?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UPTO 50 lbs.?:

Of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?:

I think the more appropriate question here would be 'Do you have a car that runs?'

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIALAWARDS OR RECOGNITION?:

I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes, so they tell me.

DO YOU SMOKE?:

On the job - no! On my breaks - yes!

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?
Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde supermodel who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.

NEAREST RELATIVE:

7 miles

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?:

Oh yes, absolutely.

Lunchtime with a Gujarati, a Madrasi and a Sardaar

A Gujarati, a Madrasi and a Sardaar were part of a construction team on the 20th floor of a building.



They were having lunch. The Gujju opened his lunchbox stared in disgust. 'Dhokla! If I get dhokla one more time for lunch, I'm going to jump off this building.'



The Madrasi opened his lunchbox and exclaimed, 'Idli Sambhar again! If I

get idli sambhar one more time I'm going to jump off too.'



The Sardaar opened his lunchbox and said, 'Parontha again! If I get a parontha

one more time, I'm jumping too.'



The next day, the Gujju opened his lunchbox, saw dhokla once again and jumped to his death.



The Madrasi opened his lunchbox, saw idli sambhar, and jumped too.



The Sardaar opened his lunchbox, saw the parontha and jumped to his death as

well.



At the funeral, the Gujju's wife was weeping. She said, 'If I'd known how really tired he was of dhokla, I never would have given it to him again!'



The Madrasi's wife also wept. 'I could have given him dosa!' she said. 'I didn't realize he hated idli sambhar so much.'



Everyone turned and stared at the Sardaar's wife.



'What?' she said, 'Don't look at me! He always made his own lunch.'

Logic

Zail singh decided to write the MBA exam. He could understand everything except for the LOGIC part.
One day when he was reading, Rajiv came home.

Rajiv: Zailsinghji How is your MBA preparation?
Zail Singh: Every thing is fine, but I could not understand Logic.
Rajiv: Logic is very easy.
Zailsingh: Can you give me an example, so that I can understand.
Rajiv: OK. Do you have fish pot in your house?
Zail: YES.
Rajiv: Logically, there will be water in it.
Zail: YES.
Rajiv: Logically, there will be fish in it.
Zail: YES.
Rajiv: Logically, someone will be feeding the fish.
Zail: YES.
Rajiv: I take a guess that your wife will be feeding the fish.
Zail: YES.
Rajiv: so, logically, your are married.
Zail: YES.
Rajiv: So, that means U are a heterosexual.

Zailsingh was very glad that he understood logic. Next day he sees Butasingh and he was also preparing for MBA.

Zail: How is your MBA preparation?
Buta: Everything is fine except for the logic.
Zail: Oh, logic is easy.
Buta: Please, give me an example.
Zail: Do you have a fish pot in your house?
Buta: NO, I don't.

Zail: Saala HOMO!!!

The Potato Garden

An old man lived alone in Minnesota. He wanted to spade his potato garden, but it was very hard work.

His only son, who would have helped him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and mentioned his situation.

Dear Son,

I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't be able to plant my potato garden this year.

I hate to miss doing the garden, because your mother always loved planting time. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot.

If you were here, all my troubles would be over. I know you would have dug up the plot for me, if you weren't in prison.

Love, Dad


Shortly, the old man received this telegram:

"For Heaven's sake, Dad, don't dig up the garden!! That's where I buried the guns!"

At 4am the next morning, a dozen FBI agents and local police officers showed up and dug up the entire garden without finding any guns.

Confused, the old man wrote another note to his son telling him what happened, and asked him what to do next.

His son's reply was: 'Go ahead and plant your potatoes, Dad. It's the best I could do for you from here.'

Night Classes

At a building site, two blue collar workers, Jack and Ray were chatting.


Jack: Ray, I've been attending night classes for five months now and I have an exam next week.


Ray: Oh…well, how's that going for you?

Jack: Great! I'm learning all this cool stuff! For example, do you know who Graham Bell is?


Ray: No.


Jack: He invented the telephone in 1876. If you took night classes you'd know that.

Ray: Oh…that's pretty cool I guess.


The next day, Jack hailed Ray at the site again.


Jack: Hey Ray, do you know who Alexander Dumas is?


Ray: No.


Jack: He's the author of 'The Three Musketeers'. You know, if you took night classes like me, you'd know that.

Ray frowned in annoyance but said nothing.


The next day, Jack came up to Ray again.


Jack: Hey Ray! Do you know who Jean Jacques Rousseau is?


Ray: No!


Jack: He's the author of 'Confessions'. If you took those night classes, you'd know that.

Ray had had enough. He straightened up and turned to Jack.

Ray: Hey Jack! Do you know who Danny Barton is?


Jack: No.


Ray: He's the guy screwing your wife. If you didn't take those night classes, you'd know that.

Night Classes

At a building site, two blue collar workers, Jack and Ray were chatting.


Jack: Ray, I've been attending night classes for five months now and I have an exam next week.


Ray: Oh…well, how's that going for you?

Jack: Great! I'm learning all this cool stuff! For example, do you know who Graham Bell is?


Ray: No.


Jack: He invented the telephone in 1876. If you took night classes you'd know that.

Ray: Oh…that's pretty cool I guess.


The next day, Jack hailed Ray at the site again.


Jack: Hey Ray, do you know who Alexander Dumas is?


Ray: No.


Jack: He's the author of 'The Three Musketeers'. You know, if you took night classes like me, you'd know that.

Ray frowned in annoyance but said nothing.


The next day, Jack came up to Ray again.


Jack: Hey Ray! Do you know who Jean Jacques Rousseau is?


Ray: No!


Jack: He's the author of 'Confessions'. If you took those night classes, you'd know that.

Ray had had enough. He straightened up and turned to Jack.

Ray: Hey Jack! Do you know who Danny Barton is?


Jack: No.


Ray: He's the guy screwing your wife. If you didn't take those night classes, you'd know that.