Poor little rich kid

An Arab student sends an email to his dad

Dear Dad,

Berlin is wonderful, the people are nice and I like it here. But Dad, I am a bit ashamed to arrive at my college in my pure gold Ferrari 599GTB when all my teachers and many fellow students travel by train.

Your loving son,

Nasser

   

  

The next day, Nasser receives a reply to his email from his dad

Dear son,

I have just had twenty million US dollars transferred to your account. Please stop embarrassing us. Go and get yourself a train too.

Your loving

Dad

Four Cats -------------!!...it is a nice one really... worth reading...anil

 

....dedicated to all them hard working, under appreciated/paid & much maligned government workers everywhere! A Little humor to brighten your day. It did mine. The Four Cats� Four men were bragging about how smart their cats were.� The first man was an Engineer,� The second man was an Accountant,� The third man was a Chemist, and� The fourth man was a Government Employee.� To show off, the Engineer called his cat, 'T-square, do your stuff.'� T-square pranced over to the desk, took out some paper and pen and promptly drew a circle, a square, and a triangle.� Everyone agreed that was pretty smart.� But the Accountant said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said,� 'Spreadsheet, do your stuff.'� Spreadsheet went out to the kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies. He divided them into 4 equal piles of 3 cookies.� Everyone agreed that was good.� But the Chemist said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said, 'Measure, do your stuff.'� Measure got up, walked to the fridge, took out a quart of milk, got a 10 ounce glass from the cupboard and poured exactly 8 ounces into the glass without spilling a drop.� Everyone agreed that was pretty good.� Then the three men turned to the Government Employee and said, 'What can your cat do?'� The Government Employee called his cat and said, 'CoffeeBreak, do your stuff.'� CoffeeBreak jumped to his feet.......� Ate the cookies........� Drank the milk.......� S**t on the paper.......� Screwed the other three cats.......� Claimed he injured his back while doing so........� Filed a grievance report for unsafe working conditions.......� Put in for Workers Compensation................and� Went home for the rest of the day on sick leave............� AND THAT MY FRIEND IS WHY EVERYONE� �WANT'S TO WORK FOR THE GOVERNMENT!!

Always the First lady

One night, President Obama and his wife Michelle decided to do something out of routine and go for a casual dinner at a restaurant that wasn't too luxurious.

When they were seated, the owner of the restaurant asked the President's Secret Service if he could please speak to the First Lady in private.

They obliged and Michelle had a conversation with the owner.

When she came back to the table, President Obama asked Michelle why the owner had been so interested in talking to her. She mentioned that in her teenage years, he had been madly in love with her.

"Oh," President Obama said, "So if you had married him, you would now be the owner of this lovely restaurant."

To which Michelle responded, "No, if I had married him, he would now be President."

Last wish

Morris returns from the doctor and tells his wife that  the doctor has told him that he has only 24 hours to live.

Given the prognosis, Morris asks his wife for sex.

Naturally, she agrees, so they make love.

About 6 hours later, the husband goes to his wife and says, "Honey, you know I now have only 18 hours to live. Could we please do it one more time?"

Of course the wife agrees, and they do it again.

Later, as the man gets into bed, he looks at his watch and realizes that he now has only 8 hours  left. 

He touches his wife's shoulder and asks, "Honey,  please... just one more time before I  die."

She says, "Of course, dear," and they make love for the third  time.

After this session, the wife rolls over and falls asleep.

Morris, however, worried about his impending death, tosses and turns, until he's down to 4 more  hours.

He taps his wife, who rouses. "Honey, I have only 4 more hours. Do you think we could...?"

At  this point the wife sits up and says, "Listen  Morris, I have to get up in the morning...you  don't."

Blind Take-off

Two men dressed in Airline Pilots uniforms walk up the aisle of the plane.

 
Both are wearing dark glasses, one is using a guide dog, and the other is tapping his way along the aisle with a cane.

Nervous laughter spreads through the cabin, but the men enter the cockpit, the door closes, and the engines start up.

The passengers begin glancing nervously around, searching for some sign that this is just a little practical joke.

None is forthcoming.

The plane starts moving faster and faster down the tarmac and the people sitting in the window seats realize they're headed straight for the water at the edge of the runway.
 
As it begins to look as though the plane will plough into the water, panicked screams fill the cabin. At that moment, the plane lifts smoothly into the air.

The passengers relax and laugh a little sheepishly, and soon all retreat into their magazines, secure in the knowledge that the plane is in good hands.

In the cockpit, one of the blind pilots turns to the other and says, 'You know, Bob, one of these days, they're gonna scream too late and we're all gonna die."