> Five Surgeons

> Five surgeons are discussing who has the best patients to operate on.

> The first surgeon says, "I like to see accountants on my operating table because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered."

> The second responds, "Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything inside them is colour-coded."

> The third surgeon says, "No, I really think librarians are the best; everything inside them is in alphabetical order."

> The fourth surgeon chimes in, "You know, I like construction workers. Those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end, and when the job takes longer than you said it would."

> But the fifth surgeon shut them all up when he observed, "You're all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on. There's no guts, no heart, no balls, no brains and no spine, and there are only two moving parts, the mouth and the asshole - and they are interchangeable."

One Liner......

Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when
you can't drink and drive?

Miser

There was a man who had worked all his life, saved all his money, and
was a real miser.

Just before he died he said to his wife, "When I die I want you to take
all my money and put it in the casket with me, I want to take my money
to the afterlife with me."

And so he got his wife to promise him with all her heart that when he
died she would put all his money in the casket with him.

Well he died. He was stretched out in the casket, his wife was sitting
there in black and her friend was sitting next to her. When they
finished the ceremony just before they were ready to close the casket the
wife say, "Wait a minute!"

She had a box with her and she came over with the box and put it in the
casket.

The undertakers locked the casket down and they rolled it away.

Her friend said, "Girl, I know you weren't fool enough to put all that
money in there with your husband?"

The loyal wife replied, "Listen I'm a Christian I can't go back on my
word. I promised him that I was going to put the money in with him."

"You mean to tell me that you put all that money in the casket!"

"I sure did," said the wife, "I got it all together, put it into my
account and wrote a cheque, if he can cash it he can spend it.

An Atheist

An atheist was taking a walk through the woods.


"What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!"
he said to himself.

As he was walking alongside the river he heard a rustling in the
bushes behind him. He turned to look. He saw a 7 foot grizzly charge towards
him.

He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder
and saw that the bear was closing in on him.

He looked over his shoulder again, and the bear was even closer. His
heart was pumping frantically and he tried to run even faster. He tripped
and fell on the ground.

He rolled over to pick himself up but saw the bear right on top of
him, reaching for him with his left paw and raising his right paw to
strike him.

At that instant the Atheist cried out: "Oh my God!....."

Time stopped. The bear froze. The forest was silent.

As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky:

"You deny my existence for all of these years, teach others I don't
exist, and even credit creation to a cosmic accident. Do you expect me to
help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer?"

The atheist looked directly into the light, "It would be hypocritical
of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps could
you make the BEAR a Christian?"

"Very well," said the voice.

The light went out. And the sounds of the forest resumed.

And then the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together
and bowed his head and spoke:

"Lord, Bless this food which I am about to receive..."

Acknowlegment

This site is meant to be for Jokes and Riddles, any statements made here are not towards any individual or group of individuals.

The aim of this site is merely to make you think or laugh as these are the best forms of putting you in better spirits.

Do accept my above thoughts with an open mind.

Thanks
Aidnani