Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
The Parking Space
A man was driving down a street to attend an important meeting.
Try as he might, he could not find a parking spot. Desperately, he looked up towards heaven and said, "Lord, have pity on me. If you find me a parking space, I'll go to church every Sunday for the rest of my life and give up drinking."
Miraculously, a parking space appeared.
The man looked up again and said, "Never mind, I found one."
Monday, November 22, 2010
The Biker's Wish
A man riding his Harley was riding along a California beach, when suddenly the sky clouded over above his head and, in a booming voice, the Lord said, "Because you have tried to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish."
The biker pulled over and said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can ride over anytime I want."
The Lord said, "Your request is materialistic! Think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking; the supports required reaching the bottom of the Pacific and the concrete and steel it would take! It will nearly exhaust several natural resources. I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of something that could possibly help mankind."
The biker thought about it for a long time.
Finally, he said, "Lord, I wish that I and all men could understand women; I want to know how she feels inside, what she's thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says nothing's wrong, and how I can make a woman truly happy."
The Lord replied, "Yeah...you want two lanes or four on that bridge?"
The biker pulled over and said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can ride over anytime I want."
The Lord said, "Your request is materialistic! Think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking; the supports required reaching the bottom of the Pacific and the concrete and steel it would take! It will nearly exhaust several natural resources. I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of something that could possibly help mankind."
The biker thought about it for a long time.
Finally, he said, "Lord, I wish that I and all men could understand women; I want to know how she feels inside, what she's thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says nothing's wrong, and how I can make a woman truly happy."
The Lord replied, "Yeah...you want two lanes or four on that bridge?"
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Grounds for divorce?
Punjabi woman to her mother: 'I'm divorcing Kuldip. All he wants is anal sex and my asshole is now the size of a 50 cent coin, when it used to be the size of a 5 cent coin!
Mother: 'You're married to a millionaire lawyer, you live in an 8 bedroom mansion in Canada, you drive a Mercedes 300SEL... You get $10,000 a week allowance, you take 6 vacations a year...and you want to throw all that away for 45 cents?
Mother: 'You're married to a millionaire lawyer, you live in an 8 bedroom mansion in Canada, you drive a Mercedes 300SEL... You get $10,000 a week allowance, you take 6 vacations a year...and you want to throw all that away for 45 cents?
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