The Internet is for Porn (by Ellen Feiss)

Healthcare in Norway

http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=b5d_1195670526

Is Google Evil

Eye Test For Men

Melbourne bound blonde

A plane is on its way to Melbourne when a blonde in Economy Class gets up and moves to the First Class section, where she sits down and generally makes herself comfortable. The flight attendant watches her do this and asks to see her ticket. The attendant then politely tells the blonde passenger that she has paid for Economy and that she will have to go and sit in the back. The blonde replies, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to Melbourne and I'm staying right here!" The flight attendant goes into the cockpit and tells the pilot and co-pilot that there's some blonde bimbo sitting in First Class that belongs in Economy and won't move back to her seat. The co-pilot goes back to the blonde and tries to explain that because she only paid for Economy she is only entitled to an Economy place and she will have to leave and return to her original seat. The blonde replies, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to Melbourne and I'm staying right here!" Exasperated, the co-pilot tells the pilot that it's no use and that he probably should have the police waiting when they land to arrest this blonde woman that won't listen to reason. The pilot says, "You say she's blonde? I'll handle this - I'm married to a blonde, and I speak blonde!" He goes back to the blonde and whispers in her ear. She looks up at him and smiles, "Oh, I'm sorry - I had no idea," gets up and moves back to her seat in the Economy section. The flight attendant and co-pilot are amazed and ask the pilot what he said to make her move without any fuss. The pilot replies, "I told her First Class isn't going to Melbourne."

Melbourne bound blonde

A plane is on its way to Melbourne when a blonde in Economy Class gets up and moves to the First Class section, where she sits down and generally makes herself comfortable. The flight attendant watches her do this and asks to see her ticket. The attendant then politely tells the blonde passenger that she has paid for Economy and that she will have to go and sit in the back. The blonde replies, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to Melbourne and I'm staying right here!" The flight attendant goes into the cockpit and tells the pilot and co-pilot that there's some blonde bimbo sitting in First Class that belongs in Economy and won't move back to her seat. The co-pilot goes back to the blonde and tries to explain that because she only paid for Economy she is only entitled to an Economy place and she will have to leave and return to her original seat. The blonde replies, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to Melbourne and I'm staying right here!" Exasperated, the co-pilot tells the pilot that it's no use and that he probably should have the police waiting when they land to arrest this blonde woman that won't listen to reason. The pilot says, "You say she's blonde? I'll handle this - I'm married to a blonde, and I speak blonde!" He goes back to the blonde and whispers in her ear. She looks up at him and smiles, "Oh, I'm sorry - I had no idea," gets up and moves back to her seat in the Economy section. The flight attendant and co-pilot are amazed and ask the pilot what he said to make her move without any fuss. The pilot replies, "I told her First Class isn't going to Melbourne."

On a signboard in Bihar

Bad Dinner!!!

Relationships

They left the best for the end...

Relationships


One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife
dressed
in a very sexy nightie. "Tie me up," she purred, "and
you can
do anything you want."

So he tied her up and went golfing.

************ ********* ********* ********* *********
**

A woman came home, screeching her car into the
driveway, and
ran into the house. She slammed the door and shouted
at the
top of her lungs, "Honey, pack your bags. I won the
lottery!"

The husband said, "Oh my God! What should I pack,
beach stuff
or mountain stuff?" "Doesn't matter," she said. "Just
get
out."

************ ********* ********* ********* *********
**

Marriage is a relationship in which one person is
always
right, and the other is a husband.

************ ********* ********* ********* *********
**

A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a
driver's
license.

First, of course, he had to take an eye sight test.
The
optician showed him a card with the letters:
'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.'

"Can you read this?" the optician asked.

"Read it?" the Polish guy replied, "I know the guy."

************ ********* ********* ********* *********
**
Mother Superior called all the nuns together and said
to them,

"I must tell you all something. We have a case of
gonorrhea in
the convent."

"Thank God," said an elderly nun at the back. "I'm so
tired of
chardonnay."

************ ********* ********* ********* *********
**
A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her
husband.

Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen.

"Careful," he said, "CAREFUL! Put in some more butter!
Oh my
GOD!
You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them!
TURN
THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my GOD! WHERE are we
going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK!
Careful . CAREFUL!
I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're
cooking!
Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you
LOST your
mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always
forget to
salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!"


The wife stared at him. "What in the world is wrong
with you?
You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?"

The husband calmly replied, "I just wanted to show you
what it
feels like when I'm driving."

************ ********* ********* ********* *********
***

The Ancient Code

Archaeologists exploring an ancient site discovered a hidden cave. Written across the wall of the cave, on a jutting out piece of stone, were the following symbols:

It was considered a unique find and the writings were said to be at least three thousand years old!

The piece of stone was removed, brought to the museum, and archaeologists from around the world came to study the ancient symbols. They held a huge meeting after months of conferences to discuss the meaning of the markings.

The President of the society pointed to the first drawing and said, "This is a woman. We can see these people held women in high esteem. You can also tell they were intelligent, as the next symbol is a donkey,
so they were smart enough to have animals help them till the soil.
The next drawing is a shovel, which means they had tools to help them."

Even further proof of their high intelligence is the fish which means that if a famine hit the earth and food didn't grow, they sought food from the sea. The last symbol appears to be the Star of David which means they were evidently Hebrews."

The audience applauded enthusiastically.

Then a little old Jewish man stood up in the back of the room and said, "Idiots! Hebrew is read from right to left...It says: 'Holy Mackerel, Dig the Ass on that Chick!'"