Men are like...

Men are like.....

Men are like..... Coffee.

The best ones are rich, warm, full-bodied, and can keep you up all night long.

Men are like..... Commercials.

You can't believe a word they say.

Men are like..... Computers.

Hard to figure out and never have enough memory.

Men are like..... Coolers.

Load them with beer and you can take them anywhere.

Men are like..... Copiers.

You need them for reproduction, but that's about it.

Men are like..... Bananas.

The older they get, the less firm they are.

Men are like..... Bank Accounts.

Without a lot of money, they don't generate interest.

Men are like..... Bike helmets.

Handy in an emergency, but otherwise they just LOOK SILLY.

Men are like..... Snowstorms.

You never know when he's coming, how many inches you'll get or how long he will last.

Men are like..... Used Cars.

Both are easy-to-get, cheap, and unreliable.

Men are like..... Vacations.

They never seem to be long enough.

Men are like..... Government bonds.

They take so long to mature.

Men are like..... High heels.

They're easy to walk on once you get the hang of it.

Men are like..... Horoscopes.

They always tell you what to do and are usually wrong.

Men are like..... Weather.

Nothing can be done to change either one of them.

Men are like..... Blenders.

You need one, but you're not quite sure why.

Men are like..... Cement.

After getting laid, they take a long time to get hard.

Men are like..... Chocolate Bars.

Sweet, smooth, and they usually head right for your hips.

Men are like..... Curling irons.

They're always hot, and they're always in your hair.

Men are like..... Lawn Mowers.

If you're not pushing one around, then you're riding it.

Men are like..... Lava lamps.

Fun to look at, but not all that bright.

Men are like..... Mascara.

They usually run at the first sign of emotion.

Men are like..... Mini skirts.

If you're not careful, they'll creep up your legs.

Men are like..... Noodles.

They're always in hot water, they lack taste, and they need dough.

Men are like..... Plungers.

They spend most of their lives in a hardware store or the bathroom.

Men are like..... Placemats.

They only show up when there's food on the table.

The Lucky Frog

A couple of weekends ago, I went  out golfing. I was on the second hole when I noticed a frog sitting next to the green.

I thought nothing of it and was about to shoot when I heard, "Ribbit. 9 iron."

I looked around and didn't see anyone but the frog. As I looked doubtfully at it, I the creature opened its mouth again. "Ribbit. 9 Iron." 

"You think you can teach me my game?" I asked.

The frog stared balefully at me. "Ribbit. 9 Iron." 

I looked at the frog and decided to prove this it wrong. I put the club away and grabbed a 9 iron. 

Boom!  I hit it the ball  ten inches from the cup.

I was shocked. I turned to the frog, "Wow that's amazing. You must be a lucky frog, eh?"

The frog replied, "Ribbit. Lucky frog."

I decided to take the frog with me to the next hole. "What do you think, frog?" I asked. 

"Ribbit, 3 wood."

I took out a 3 wood, and - boom! A hole in one. I was speechless.

By the end of the day, I had played the best game of golf in my life. I asked the frog, "Okay, where to next?"

The frog replied, "Ribbit. Las Vegas."

We went to Las Vegas and I said, "Okay frog, now what?" 

The frog said, "Ribbit. Roulette." 

Upon approaching the roulette table, I asked the frog, "What do you think I  should bet?" 

The frog replied, "Ribbit. $3000, black 6." 

Now, this is a million-to-one shot to win, but after the golf game I figured...what the heck.

Boom! Tons of cash came sliding back across the table towards me.

I took my winnings and bought the best room in the hotel. I sat the frog down and said, "Frog, I don't know how to repay you. You've won me all this money and I am forever grateful." 

The frog replied,"Ribbit. Kiss me."

I figured why not, since after all the frog had done for me, it deserved this small favour.

I leaned forward, and with a kiss, the frog turned into a gorgeous girl!

...and that is how the girl ended up in my room, Elin. So help me God, or my name is not Tiger Woods!"

Orthopaedic surgeon's motorcycle

This supercool bike was built by an orthopedic surgeon. Love the way he's used the limbs and the pelvic bone! :-)

Fwd: Truly Amazing : Peg After Peg

Peg after peg

==========

I never take risk while drinking

When I come from office in the evening, wife is cooking

I can hear the noise of utensils in the kitchen

I stealthily enter the house

Take out the bottle from my black cupboard

Shivaji Maharaj is looking at me from the photo frame

But still no one is aware of it

Becoz I never take a risk

I take out the glass from the rack above the old sink

Quickly enjoy one peg

Wash the glass and again keep it on the rack

Of course I also keep the bottle inside my cupboard

Shivaji Maharaj is giving a smile

I peep into the kitchen

Wife is cutting potatoes

No one is aware of what I did

Becoz I never take a risk

I: Any news on Chopra's daughter's marriage

Wife: Nope, she doesn't seem to be that lucky. Still they are looking
out for her

I again come out; there is a small noise of the black cupboard

But I don't make any sound while taking out the bottle

I take out the glass from the old rack above sink

Quickly enjoy one peg

Wash the bottle and keep it in the sink

Also keep the Black Glass in the cupboard

But still no one is aware of what I did

Becoz I never take a risk

I: But still I think Chopra's daughter's age is not that much

Wife: What are you saying? She is 28 yrs old... Like an aged horse

I: (I forgot her age is 28) Oh Oh...

I again take out potatoes out from my black cupboard

But the cupboard's place has automatically changed

I take out the bottle from the rack and quickly enjoy one peg in the sink

Shivaji Maharaj laughs loudly

I keep the rack in the potatoes & wash Shivaji Maharaj's photo & keep

It in the black cupboard

Wife is keeping the sink on the stove

But still no one is aware of what I did

Becoz I never take a risk

I: (getting angry) you call Mr. Chopra a horse? If you say that again,

I will cut your tongue...!

Wife: Don't just blabber something, go out and sit quietly...

I take out the bottle from the potatoes

Go in the black cupboard and enjoy a peg

Wash the sink and keep it over the rack

Wife is giving a smile

Shivaji Maharaj is still cooking

But still no one is aware of what I did

Becoz I never take a risk

I: (laughing) So Chopra is marrying a horse!!

Wife: Hey go and sprinkle some water on your face...

I again go to the kitchen, and quietly sit on the rack

Stove is also on the rack

There is a small noise of bottles from the room outside

I peep and see that wife is enjoying a peg in the sink

But none of the horses are aware of what I did

Becoz Shivaji Maharaj never takes a risk

Chopra is still cooking

And I am looking at my wife from the photo and laughing

Becoz I never take Risk ...

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