The cow and the golf ball
A man staggered into a hospital with a concussion, multiple bruises, two black eyes, and a five iron wrapped tightly around his throat. Naturally, the Doctor asked him, "What happened to YOU?"
"Well, I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife when, at a difficult hole, we both sliced our golf balls into a field of cattle. We went to look for them and while I was looking around I noticed one of the cows had something white at its rear end. I walked over, lifted its tail, and sure enough, there was a golf ball with my wife's monogram on it - stuck right in the middle of the cow's ass. Still holding the cow's tail up, I yelled to my wife: 'Hey, this looks like yours!'
I don't remember much after that"
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