Scientific Explanation of Hell

HELL EXPLAINED BY CHEMISTRY STUDENT

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington

chemistry mid term.

The answer by one student was so 'profound' that the professor shared

it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now

have the pleasure of enjoying it as well :

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic

absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law

(gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some

variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we

need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate

at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once

a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are

leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the

different religions that exist in the world today.

Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their

religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these

religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we

can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as

they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase

exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell

because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and

pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand

proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls

enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase

until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in

Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes

over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman

year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,' and

take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then

number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and

has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since

Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more

souls and is therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby

proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night,

Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my God.'

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+.