Snippets from the US political board

• All the world leaders are in New York City attending the U.N. General Assembly. Some are doing some shopping. The Japanese premier, for example, got a great deal on Morgan Stanley.

• At a rally in Florida, Barack Obama was interrupted by a protest group called "Blacks Against Obama." Actually it was a pretty small group - just Condoleezza Rice and Jesse Jackson.

• Goldman Sachs and Morgan Stanley will no longer be investment banks and are now just regular commercial banks. But to keep their executive bonuses high, customers will be charged $17,000 every time they use the ATM.

• Vice presidential nominee, Sarah Palin, went to the United Nations and met with the presidents of Afghanistan, Colombia, and Iraq. She was excited because these are all countries you can't see from Alaska.

• Yesterday, President Bush gave a speech on the economic crisis. The title of Bush's speech: "Two More Months and It Ain't My Problem."

• California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger recently said that in the 1970s he smoked marijuana. Apparently, Arnold got so stoned that you could understand every word he was saying.

• Iranian President Ahmadinejad also spoke at the U.N. earlier today. This is a guy who hates Jews and gays. Boy is he in the wrong town.

• The presidential race is heating up. John McCain has said he will release his medical records by the end of the year. He's not stalling - it's just going to take a long time to print them out.

• The past several days, President Bush has been speaking out about the Wall Street bailout, and today a reporter asked him what he planned to do about AIG. Bush got upset and said, "Why does everyone always spell in front of me?"

• The presidential election is getting closer. It's now down to the choice of Barack Obama and what's his name versus Sarah Palin and what's his name.

• Apparently, one of Sarah Palin's first acts as Governor of Alaska was getting a tanning bed installed in the governor's mansion.
• The Republican Party is okay with it, which is weird, because usually they ask themselves, "How can we make our candidate more white?"

• Some sad news yesterday in Malibu. Actor Ryan O'Neal and his son were arrested after authorities found methamphetamines in their home. The good news, since it's Malibu, there's a rehab centre right across the street.

• Paris Hilton is our guest on the show tonight......unless she needs to rush to Washington to fix the economy - David Letterman

• President Bush, Barack Obama and John McCain are having an emergency meeting at the White House today to discuss the financial crisis. Together, the three men hope to find a way to blame this all on Ralph Nader.

• Sarah Palin was at the U.N. to meet some world leaders. The president of Pakistan actually told Palin that she was gorgeous. But you know, he said the same thing to Joe Biden, so I don't know what the deal is.

• Michelle Obama says she keeps her kids entertained on the campaign trail by throwing slumber parties. Which, coincidentally, is how Bill Clinton kept himself entertained during his campaign.

• Sarah Palin is training hard in Arizona for the vice presidential debate. She says it has really helped her on foreign policy because from Arizona she can see Mexico.